With the recent Sun article getting some all hot and bothered about us pesky Cornish, I thought I’d stick up a tiny proportion of the ignorant/ill-informed/mis-informed/half-baked drivel, general weirdness and abuse levelled at us on newspaper sites, Youtube, Wikipedia and fora across the last few years. (All typos, randomness and piss-poor grammar are as written):
“I live in Cornwall and worked here for most of the last 35 years. (Well someones got to live and work here !!!)
PLEASE ignore these idiotic ideas. We have about 6 people who wear St Piran type g-strings, see through shirts and try to talk in Cornish. You can learn Cornish by popping down your local, drinking 15 pints, and try and hold a conversation with a stuffed parrot.
IF you pop down, and you are most welcome, keep off the moors between 3.00am and 5.00am as you may see some men wearing sheets dancing round a granite block shouting about a sheep.” This is Cornwall
“Its a well known fact that most people born in Cornwall County are a bit inbred and are likely to grow up claiming the dole or sick money from the English. I holiday down there and my money supports these thickos.
England is THE Country and County Cornwall a holiday part of it. The Cornwallese are there to serve and clean up after those of us who go there and spend our money to keep them in their hovels. This year I am going to come down with the biggest England George flags just to help them remember that they are part of England and should be grateful for it. Its time for the English to unite and remind the Jocks, Taffs, immigrants and anyone else that it is our English Pound Notes that feeds them. England will arise and then watch out ! Our great Football Team is just the start. Warming up now but the boys will winthrough for us ! Remember people of Cornwall its our money – Bank of England – our noble flag St George of England and our Army which you want to thank.”
“i have to live amongst the inbred filth. i have to work along side the inbred filth. i have to talk to the inbred filth. i take the piss out of them and they throw their dollies out of the pram. they are unable to have a conversation without pasties being mentioned. they bring their mums in to show off the love bites. They think jethro is funny. They make up history to suit themselves. They rename birds to make thei tawdry lives more important. They complain about lithuanians not being able to speak english but cant themselves Robert Baillie 26/04/11″ Facebook
“the cornish have no pride unless there’s something in it for them” Facebook
“until you’ve put up with what i’ve had to put up with today you cannot ever accept that shit can be piled that high. single celled amoeba are more interesting. i am not violent but i really want to seriously hurt the inbred filth. Robert Baillie 27/04/11” Facebook
“I don’t give a damn about the constitutional status of Cornwall, it could become “Independent” tomorrow and I wouldn’t raise an eye-lid, but it’s not acceptable to push a POV on this encyclopaedia like that. There are rules here, things have to be sourced, factual balanced in a POV manner.” Wikipedia
“As for the “duchy question” on the Cornwall article, you are also well aware that it is discussed on the talkpage. Your bnehaviour is exactly the sort of idiotic, unthinking nonsense that gets Cornish nationalism such a bad name amongst so many people (not least in Cornwall, where most people find the likes of you irrelevant irritants). You are doing more to undermine the movement for greater Cornish autonomy than the most rabid English nationalists ever will, simply because you make it impossible for anyone to take you seriously.” Wikipedia
“Deletion as MK aims are covered in the above, tweaked wording (Rights implies oppression of the Cornish people which is a fantasy of some” Wikipedia
“Total tosh as usual, the Cornish have no Celtic heritage to claim. They have no historical claim of a seperate history from England, most claimed ‘culteral history’ claim dates from a fictional history book and its claims in the 1920. This is just fiction claimed by a few Middle Class wombats with some wierd agenda that could lead to millions being wasted on fiction. There are many genuine claims could be made by other areas of Britain with a very genuine claim, the extremists in Cornwall have none!” The Guardian
“As a London tax payer I would be delighted to kick the Celtic fringes into touch whether they wanted it or not. I would be richer but it would not be right though. All Celtic Nationalists parties would be well advised to pipe down in case the English took them at their word.” The Guardian
“I don’t mind them getting independence as long as they don’t hold me up at the border. If they make it difficult for us Londoners to spend long weekends in Cornwall their economy would collapse.” The Guardian
“Oh, do sod off. To suggest the Cornish are somehow a different ethnic people from the rest of England is absurd.” YouTube
“the Cornish are so ungrateful! who wouldn’t want to be part of the greatest, most culturally advanced country (England) in the world! why do you think so many immigrants come here for a better life?? if the Cornish want to be even less well off economically than they already are then let them have their independance! if it is offered to them they would not take it any way, these ‘freedom campaigners’ simply want something to whine about. how could a DUCHY hope to survive on its own with no industry???” YouTube
“I think the thing here is that Cornwall is quite an irrelevant place, with high unemployment and a fading fast economy. Nobody outside of Cornwall cares what happens to it. So, by all means argue the toss over what somebody said in an historical document 400 years ago. It’s not going to make a blind bit of difference. England owns you.” YouTube
“Cornwall is basically just a shit hole. It is the poorest county in England (yes, that’s right – ENGLAND!) and pretty soon people are going to get fed up with being ripped off by the inbred yokels that inhabit Cornwall along with the masses of retired folk from the rest of England.” YouTube
“an overwhelming bigmouth minority of Cornish people want independence backed by big muth evangelists and bigmouth IRA types and big mouth Alec Salmond types. But yet no fucker will vote for their right-wing political party why is this, I wonder?” YouTube
“Ha if cornwall became independent where would the money come from?…lol you live in cloud cookoo land…very small, irelevent,no money,little man sydrome…nearly as bad as the jocks…lol” YouTube
“Yes because a country could survive with Cornish pasties being the backbone of it’s economy(!) Morons!!” The Sun
“One of the poorest counties in England wants to be cut free to run it’s own afairs, but still be subsidised by the rest of us I suppose. Cut the inbred pasty muching oafs adrift, and see how they survive.” The Guardian
“As along as they don’t want English taxpayers’ money they can do what they like. But, oh no they want that too. Bit like the “independence of most African countries: an illusion that lasts as long as it takes for the begging bowl to come out” The Independent
“Beautiful county populated with sullen indifferent inbreds.they’re looking forward to reviving their old ways,luring ships onto the rocks and drowning sailors.” The Independent
“I’ve only been to Cornwall a couple of times and I found it a wet, dismal dump with cloudy beer and horrible tourist traps, populated by whinging ginger dwarves speaking in an accent that makes the Welsh sound erudite. They eat minced dog and carrots wrapped in cardboard pastry and call it a ‘local delicacy’, which I suppose it is if the alternative is scrawny sheep?” Arrse
“Bearded pasty eating kuntards,,,,and that’s just the women.” dont-start-me-off
“I just don’t see why Cornwall would want to be independent. They’ve faced no genuine oppression, they don’t really have a separate culture, just pasties and a black and white flag. Yorkshire has more features unique from the rest of the UK than Cornwall, start going down that line and every county will want to be a country.” The Student Room
And finally, my personal favourite for its mind-boggling stupidity!
“Cornwall’s in England, granted it has a different history and language but its English so end of story.” YouTube
All in all, pretty sickening eh?